What's Wrong with me..

I ask myself that constantly. Constantly. I mean, it's just so unreal how I've come to be here! The Guy and I look at each other disbelieving-ly, shocked at where we've landed ourselves. This was not part of our original plan, the one we made right at the start.
n seriously, wht is wrong with me...I suppose i m a bit bi-polar in nature..
I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared. I'm scared stiff. I've psyched myself to believe this is going to be a lot of fun, numbing myself to thoughts of uncertainty and self-doubt. What else is there to do? I can't go back now.

But I have a list of things that I've drawn up under the head of 'Worst case scenario' in my head. What's the worst thing that can happen to me as a result of the decision I've taken. It goes something like this:

1. I'll spend hours commuting to and fro from the office.
Upside: Good. That will leave me with lesser time to be alone.

2. I'll have to work long hours, survive erratic timings.
Upside: Better still. That will leave me with still lesser time to miss Lucknow.

3.I won't get enough and good food to eat.
Upside: I'll lose some unwanted weight!

4. Office politics. They'll all hate me, be mean to me.
Upside: I'll better my art of ignoring irrelevant people.

5. I won't be able to cope up, not at all, with any of it - the emotional and the professional pressure.
Upside: What have I to lose? I'll go home just the way I came here. And be happy I tried at least.

6.I wont b able to handle crowdy palces like malls & clubs( I actually scares of)
Upside : What I have to do with the ppl, njoy d place not d ppl.

7. Left with no friends
Upside : Uptil now, I never had a permanent Friendship(atleast with Girls..ahhh).,all lie at all times, but it actually matters me a lot..Ironically, as for short snap be, they were d closest one to me n vise-versa..

And that last bit just makes me feel so much better. To have a home to go back to is all you can ask for in the worst of times. And I'm supposed to be having a good time! Nay?